I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In other news, I just burned my penis
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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