There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
