put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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