yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
vagina is talking i cant
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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