I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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