Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
