Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
