party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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