Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
