I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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