Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick