She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
you never un-have a 4some