Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.