I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!