it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.