He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
