did you get engaged???
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You're like the curious george of whores
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
