Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
