This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
