yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
