i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
