The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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