i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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