Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
