I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
