i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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