WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can u get pink eye on your cock?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
