Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
