Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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