he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
