fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
