I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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