WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
