She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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