At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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