I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
