Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
