I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize