Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
