Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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