Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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