i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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