wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize