i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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