Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He felt like a one man threesome
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
