Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
