I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
