Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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