If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
