Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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