I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
