I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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