How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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