Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
