I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm at about main and main street
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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