I think scott just propositioned me for sex
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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