didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
