Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
