come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
