God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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